Day without a gay/ save the economy

I know, prop 8 was decided one day shy of a month ago, but shit, I still get to be pissed.
plus, this video makes a valid point.

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Shellfish are gay, btw. your shrimp coctail is code for "do me dirty"

The Closet Jock/Ego King

What do the Quarterback of your high school and The Intellectual have in common? Answer: They’re fucking. Some tutoring session gone incredibly off track, midnight messages across myspace, or for some unforeseen reason they where both at the same party and where both “way drunk,” whatever the cause, the two are fucking. The Ego King has pictures of himself either almost naked or full frontal on his phone, his skanks’ phones, his computer, and probably a few websites, he willingly shows these to anyone who ask, and is willing to show the real thing in public, even during chemistry if asked. The worship of his bad jokes, good body and huge dick is the only food besides protein shakes this beast really needs. However, underneath all of those muscles and fag jokes is something ironic, a relationship with the Ego King may be more then you’ve barged for. While in some cases they are exactly as they appear, more often then not you’re life will quickly become an after school special, “the bully with a heart of gold, unable to express himself and be who he wants to be because of ______ and_____and football.” These emotionally troubled teens can be hard to decode and understand and sometimes not worth it, but like all other queers, and people in general, one should give them time and a little respect, you never know when the Closet Jock is going to write you’re the best letter you’ve ever read and mean every word of it.

The Straight-Walker

The Straight Walker is an anomaly in the queer kingdom. This guy plays moderate sports, is very smart, semi-popular and has a great smile, and they’re a total fag-but you don’t know that! You might suspect them but you’re never entirely sure, maybe you’re gaydar is getting interference from a gay weather balloon and from their American Eagle jeans. This is possibly the hardest queer to pick out in high school. While he does always have girls around him, none of them are ever his girlfriend, but none of them are the typical “fag-hag,” instead they’re cheerleaders, the hotter half of the soccer team and volley ball players. He might flirt with you, but you might dismiss it as you’re gay ego re-interpreting “do you have a pencil?” for “can I have your dick?” A word of the wise, don’t blow off these Straight Walkers entirely, you’ll always need straight friends(If nothing else then to play match maker around homecoming and prom), but don’t fall for them, in the cases where you’re wrong and they’re simply very VERY metro-sexual, things tend to end messy.

The Anime Fag

The Anime Fag is easy to spot. They want you to notice them, the want the attention. They’re the ones in the lunch room, wearing “kandies,” goggles, fingerless gloves, fishnets and/or a trench coat. Their long dirty hair is pulled back into a ponytail that some girl is probably tugging at. You’ll eventually hear from them screaming and whining and other high pitched noises. Avoid them. Avoid them in person. Avoid them online. Avoid them at all cost. Even the most attractive of them has some sort of “ugly duckling syndrome” where they think they’re still the gangly awkward seventh grader with thick glasses, even though they’ve “blossomed” into a tall, ripped stud with contacts, don’t avoid them on principal, avoid them because even though this attractive jr. with a surprisingly amazing body is 17 year old, they are still going to act like the same awkward, smelly, flabby seventh grader that was playing with Japanese trading cards all lunch. They’ve also spent the last 3 years dating like the nasty, blind mole child they where. In these 3 years they’ve racked up experience points and evolved into a hunk…with STDs. Avoid for your own good, both mentally, emotionally and physically.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't get married, Don't drink

There is talk about repealing "dont' ask, don't tell."
This would guarentee me the right to:
Vote
Die for my country
get married to whom i choose
drink
Move to Canada

Pump'n'Go

Not only is Pump’n’Go and adjective, it’s also a role. Pump’N’Go is synonymous with Gay Slut. This is the village tricycle, one of the wheels is broken, it’s pink and has streamers, and every male who enjoys pink and hard rides has driven it around a little. The Pump’n’Go is probably the only queer you really shouldn’t hold grudges against in high school, especially if you are queer. This is because they’ve probably done something with you, or something with someone who you’ve been with. They know all the intimate details and horrible secrets of your physic. They should also be counted as a friend because they know everything about everyone and are possibly sleeping with one of your teachers. However do not keep this person too close, close enough to be good acquaintances but not close enough for either party to develop feeling for each other (see last man on earth scenario).

The Bad Boy-Type 2

“I’m so done with this place,” the motto of Bad Boy Type 2. Bad Boy Type 2, even though they dropped out after freshman year knows a few things. They know what they want and how they’re going to get it, or rather they think they know what they want and how to get that but in reality what they really want is attention. They act up, “I’m not going to do this,” quit early, “This is stupid, Fuck this place,” and think they are better then you, “Well Excuse me,” This slightly overweight and attention whoring child will never realize that if they had just put their pride aside their life would have been better. Bad Boy Type 2 tends to become romantically involved with older men. Much older. They move out of their house at a young age, whining about legal emancipation and how their parents don’t “get them.” The Bad Boy Type 2, wants you to think that they hate their family, but really they simply have daddy issues. Their horrible attitude and disposition (and dating habits) push away the family members and concerned friends that they have, instead searching for solace in drugs, alcohol and men that are at least twice their age. Don’t try to tell the Bad Boy Type 2 any of this either, “YOU JUST DON’T GET ME. THIS IS THE REAL WORLD! OK?”