ok, you're a fag, whatelse you got?

Being queer and a teen, you've got very little media dedicated to you outright. There is perez hilton, Tyra Banks making it all about her, MTv's occasional gay character and unfortunately the Advocate. Tonight I've chosen to attack The Advocate, sorry dude.


But not just the Advocate, the entire gay community that is older than my generation. The sitting around, feeling sorry for yourselves fagots. We thank you for fighting all those battles way back in the discodark ages, but it's over. You're generation saw being gay as a role, and the difference between you're generation and mine is we see it as a character trait. You're gay? that's cool, I'm a vegetarian. However you're generation, grand-ma and grand-ma birkenstocks, seems they still need to coddle us in the way you wish you had been coddled. Scholarships for sneaking a peek in the locker room, summer camps, gay elected officials (that aren't dirty old republicans) that want to come and tell you about how hard it was to be a fagot in a high school back when phones where rotary, "records" where those big dinner plate looking things, dinosaurs roamed the earth and pluto was a planet.
The most recent issue of the Advocate, kept bitching that Australian Matthew Mitcham, who won a gold medal on a fluke at the summer olympics hasn't had thousands of endorsments thrown at him.
Let's break this down a little:
yes, he's gay, unfortonatly until the dinosaur generation of our parents dies off entirely, being gay will still be an issue and point of interest
HE QUIT THE SPORT, he got back into competition shape and standards a whole 9 months before the games
HE WALKED OUT IN 2006, two years before the 08 games
usually sponsers look for someone they can buy realitivly cheap after the olympic games, so they will wear their shit at the next games, instead of trying to buy someone up in July when their ego is HUGE cause they're going to the olympics, and they're going to be the next michael phelps
4th reason he hasn't been offered endorsements, Michael Phelps is currently being endorsed by every company in the world(sans kellog) and the entire pot head population.
Good luck peddling that one gold metal when he's got the 30 or whatever form this year around his neck.[also, why is everyone shocked that Phelps smoked pot? he listens to lil wayne to get psyched up before a swim. lil wayne? should have considered that before you endorsed the guy that endorsed lil weezy.]

Not that I'm not thrilled for Mitcham, I am. [And when you break up with your boyfriend, I'll be here to comfort you. We have a lot in common. You swim, I swim. You competed in the Olympics, I kinda watched them a little bit. You look good in a speedo, I think you look good in a speedo. don't worry about it, I'll get you my number, it'll all work out....somebody just needs to break it to Luthor.] And what he did for Australia, queers, young people, and drop outs is an inspiration.
but also, thanks a lot, when you finally do get famous, everyone is going to bring up that you quit and got back into it and then got a billion metals at London, and everyone is going to get that phone call from the aunt who bitches cause we quit something we weren't that into a while ago.

Anyway, older generation, dinosaur people, stop wallowing in your self pitty.

if you where offended by this post, please please please comment, so i can make fun of you later.