The Straight-Walker

The Straight Walker is an anomaly in the queer kingdom. This guy plays moderate sports, is very smart, semi-popular and has a great smile, and they’re a total fag-but you don’t know that! You might suspect them but you’re never entirely sure, maybe you’re gaydar is getting interference from a gay weather balloon and from their American Eagle jeans. This is possibly the hardest queer to pick out in high school. While he does always have girls around him, none of them are ever his girlfriend, but none of them are the typical “fag-hag,” instead they’re cheerleaders, the hotter half of the soccer team and volley ball players. He might flirt with you, but you might dismiss it as you’re gay ego re-interpreting “do you have a pencil?” for “can I have your dick?” A word of the wise, don’t blow off these Straight Walkers entirely, you’ll always need straight friends(If nothing else then to play match maker around homecoming and prom), but don’t fall for them, in the cases where you’re wrong and they’re simply very VERY metro-sexual, things tend to end messy.