The Art-Fag

When you’re parents where in High School there was only one kind of Art-Fag. He smoked a ton of pot, made “incense burners” in ceramics, marched in band and acted in the play. The punching bag and pump’n’go for jocks, he has since evolved into 3 separate types of Art-Fag, 3 sub categories are: the Dancing Queen, Drama Queen and Music Fag.
Dancing Queen
The Dancing Queen, well, dances. He claims to be straight, at least in jr. high eventually coming out of the closet or transferring to a different school, he is one of the few guys to be on the drill team/cheerleading squad. He can do the splits, kick above his head and his walk is best described as “fierce” “working it” and “floating around.”
“Drama Queen”
The Drama Queen is not a drama queen. Though plagued with drama (who baby dat? Who got the hook up?) the Drama Queen is the Drama Queen because as far as he is concerned he is the diva that makes your school’s acting department what it is. Without him a production would fail miserably. He is the best singer, best dancer, and best vocalist, best every-damn-thing your school has seen. Fear this diva; he’ll throw a Diana Ross style fit that will put the most heavily self-medicated drama teacher at wits end.
Music Fag
The Music Fag is similar in many aspects to both the Drama Queen and The Sista. This ball of energy is marching band, wind ensemble, jazz ensemble, small ensemble, pep band, and pit orchestra(or in cases of choir, Men’s ensemble, Chamber Choir, Jazz Choir, Small Ensemble, Barbershop Quartet, Chorus Line and sing the National Anthem at every sporting event possible). They’re always abuzz with drama that pertains to and is only interesting for other Band/Choir Nerds. Not only are they the Drama Queen and The Sista(who will tell you what you did wrong and how wrong it was, whether it was marching, singing, playing a certain note or even looking at them with ‘that look, yeah bitch that look’) but they are also the Pump’n’Go for the music department. If somebody in the music department is queer, they have touched this Music Fag in someway. Whether they used protection or not is a gamble. (whether anyone in the music department used protection is also a gamble so avoid all practice rooms/closets/music libraries/large cubbies/locker/ similar situations)
However there is a second kind of Music-Fag. The Gross Music-Fag. This over weight, greasy mess thinks they are hot shit and thinks they’re better then everyone, but really unbeknownst to them they are the butt of every joke told. This fat mess talks too much and listens too little. They don’t know their part or their place. If confronted by them sexually, run as fast as possible (they won’t be able to keep up anyway).